My Father
Things happen for a reason......when it is time to let go, let it go,
no matter how painful it is, one has to learn not to become to attached to it,
let things take the natural course, if you try to hold it back, things do not go peacefully......
I noticed a smile in dad's photo today,
I know he is happy now.
Always in my heart,...dad
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Can you change the weather?
Tears flow as I recall how you felt when you were in the hospital the first time.
I will always remember, one evening, when you were so restless in the hospital, I tried to turn you, and I asked you why father you kept on shaking your head, that this (position) was not right & that not right. I asked how I could make you feel more comfortable. You said to me, “Can you change the weather?” At first I could not hear you, then you repeated, and I heard you so clearly. You then said, “Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter”, so as to let me understand. Remember father, I said that we cannot change the weather but man can live in any weather, even in very cold weather, in the artic, or in the desert, anywhere. Hoping you would understand. Hoping that you would fight with your strength and that you would have the will to get better and have the will to live. You must have heard me & I thought I could feel your determination to live. Was I wrong? ..........................
That evening when I say tears running down your eyes, I cried ......……..
....……I know not why you spoke only in English – especially to me. You tried so hard so speak all the time even though it was difficult for you. Sometime I could not catch what you said. Somehow I think I always understood you.
..............................Your loving daughter Chin
I will always remember, one evening, when you were so restless in the hospital, I tried to turn you, and I asked you why father you kept on shaking your head, that this (position) was not right & that not right. I asked how I could make you feel more comfortable. You said to me, “Can you change the weather?” At first I could not hear you, then you repeated, and I heard you so clearly. You then said, “Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter”, so as to let me understand. Remember father, I said that we cannot change the weather but man can live in any weather, even in very cold weather, in the artic, or in the desert, anywhere. Hoping you would understand. Hoping that you would fight with your strength and that you would have the will to get better and have the will to live. You must have heard me & I thought I could feel your determination to live. Was I wrong? ..........................
That evening when I say tears running down your eyes, I cried ......……..
....……I know not why you spoke only in English – especially to me. You tried so hard so speak all the time even though it was difficult for you. Sometime I could not catch what you said. Somehow I think I always understood you.
..............................Your loving daughter Chin
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Father, everyday I think of you
Father, everyday I think of you,
It is painful not to see you there, on your favourite wheelchair.
It is so painful to let you go, I can’t stop the tears that flow.
Every thing in the house reminds me of you, every object, and every room.
You touched my life in every way; giving so much yet asking so little in return.
You are the guiding light that binds the family together with love, patience and devotion.
You will always be in my thoughts and my heart; I cherish my memories of you so much.
My love for you is eternal; my thinking of you endless.
..Chin
It is painful not to see you there, on your favourite wheelchair.
It is so painful to let you go, I can’t stop the tears that flow.
Every thing in the house reminds me of you, every object, and every room.
You touched my life in every way; giving so much yet asking so little in return.
You are the guiding light that binds the family together with love, patience and devotion.
You will always be in my thoughts and my heart; I cherish my memories of you so much.
My love for you is eternal; my thinking of you endless.
..Chin
Friday, May 26, 2006
Spending time together
I remember that at one time father mentioned this to me...He said that young people should spend more time with their family, visit relatives, get to know their cousins, elders etc. In a way, father taught me a lot of filial piety and how respecting the old and spending time with them are important. He values the time that all of us spent together with him especially when we eat together at the dining table, go out for dinner or breakfast, attend functions like wedding or birthdays, go for trips with him or even talk to him etc.
Father, I am thankful for the value that you have taught me. Eventhough you are not physically here, I believe that your spirit is still with us whenever we get together as a family.
Your loving daughter, ANG
Father's reflections of Shanghai Wai 1932
I've recorded Father's oral history each time I make a trip to SP. It always amazes me how father remembers every little details of his time spent in China. I am thankful for the time that I spent with him...sitting with him and hearing his stories. He said:
" I was studying in the Great China University when the Shanghai War started. The Japanese attacked some of settlements in China. Fortunately, the place I stayed was not attacked. When the war started, the tables and chairs from our class were transferred to the hospital. I became a storekeeper distributing food such as eggs, bread, rice to the people who were affected by the war. Life was difficult. Because of the war, we could not move about freely. I had no money. Fortunately, there was a Hokkien Association in Shanghai that help Hokkien students. I registered my name with the association and they paid for my fare to Amoy. In Amoy, I stayed there for a while before going back to Penang"
From his story, you can deduce that life for father was not easy. He went through the war and poverty yet his spirit remained strong. Shanghai War was in 1932. Dad was born in 1913. That shows that Dad was only 19 then.
For those grandchildren who are going nineteen...think of Ah Kong and how his life was like back then.
Recorded by Ang
" I was studying in the Great China University when the Shanghai War started. The Japanese attacked some of settlements in China. Fortunately, the place I stayed was not attacked. When the war started, the tables and chairs from our class were transferred to the hospital. I became a storekeeper distributing food such as eggs, bread, rice to the people who were affected by the war. Life was difficult. Because of the war, we could not move about freely. I had no money. Fortunately, there was a Hokkien Association in Shanghai that help Hokkien students. I registered my name with the association and they paid for my fare to Amoy. In Amoy, I stayed there for a while before going back to Penang"
From his story, you can deduce that life for father was not easy. He went through the war and poverty yet his spirit remained strong. Shanghai War was in 1932. Dad was born in 1913. That shows that Dad was only 19 then.
For those grandchildren who are going nineteen...think of Ah Kong and how his life was like back then.
Recorded by Ang
an illustration i did for grandpa.
The meaning behind lies in the picture itself. One thing i remember ..when i was a kid...he drove the white Mazda and fetched me and my bro from school...if i'm not mistaken...grandma was beside him in the car too............Grandpa will always be in our hearts. ____wenning.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Do a meritorious act in honor of Father
I know so little about Buddhism but I read this:
…..The Buddha says that the greatest gift one can confer on one's dead ancestors is to perform 'acts of merit' and to transfer these merits so acquired. He also says that those who give also receive the fruits of their deeds. The Buddha encouraged those who did good deeds such as offering alms to holy men, to transfer the merits which they received to their departed ones…….
… By doing meritorious deeds they can transfer the merits to their beloved ones for their well being. This is the best way of remembering and giving real honour to and perpetuating the names of the departed ones. It is, therefore, the duty of family members and relatives to remember their departed ones by transferring merit and by radiating loving kindness directly to them.
Dear all,
Whenever you do an act of good deed, no matter how big or small, let us think of Father (or Grandfather) and say a little prayer, whether we are a Buddhist, Christian or Catholic. Perhaps by saying that we would like to transfer our merits to Father in our prayers will help. But we can all do this: Do something nice for someone, give alms or do a meritorious or charitable act, think of Father or Grandfather, and do it because we know he has always guided us through this right path - do it in his name or honor and transfer your merit to him.
This is how we can honour him; remember all the kindness and goodness that was in him. Do it for papa, for ah kong, for ah chor................Chin
…..The Buddha says that the greatest gift one can confer on one's dead ancestors is to perform 'acts of merit' and to transfer these merits so acquired. He also says that those who give also receive the fruits of their deeds. The Buddha encouraged those who did good deeds such as offering alms to holy men, to transfer the merits which they received to their departed ones…….
… By doing meritorious deeds they can transfer the merits to their beloved ones for their well being. This is the best way of remembering and giving real honour to and perpetuating the names of the departed ones. It is, therefore, the duty of family members and relatives to remember their departed ones by transferring merit and by radiating loving kindness directly to them.
Dear all,
Whenever you do an act of good deed, no matter how big or small, let us think of Father (or Grandfather) and say a little prayer, whether we are a Buddhist, Christian or Catholic. Perhaps by saying that we would like to transfer our merits to Father in our prayers will help. But we can all do this: Do something nice for someone, give alms or do a meritorious or charitable act, think of Father or Grandfather, and do it because we know he has always guided us through this right path - do it in his name or honor and transfer your merit to him.
This is how we can honour him; remember all the kindness and goodness that was in him. Do it for papa, for ah kong, for ah chor................Chin
Sunday, May 21, 2006
Saturday, May 20, 2006
well, to those who consider posting is difficult, try emailing. Get the email address from me, ehui. This is easier as u wont have to sign in. N to those that have their own blogspot account, can say so.
I know everyone miss ah kong but we must always remember that he will always continue to live in our heart's. Beside's that, we have also spent some good times with him before he passed.
If these words cant help i just wish that everyone stay strong as we will be there for each other if anyone need anything. Take care everyone.
I know everyone miss ah kong but we must always remember that he will always continue to live in our heart's. Beside's that, we have also spent some good times with him before he passed.
If these words cant help i just wish that everyone stay strong as we will be there for each other if anyone need anything. Take care everyone.
Dearest Grandpa
I really miss the time when u r stil around...the time when u keep saying tat i like 2 act like 'cheh bin'...from the show 'the mask'...when i was small...Now tat u r gone...it really changes everything...Everytime when i go 2 grandma's hse...instead of saying 'ama...akong'...now, i only hav 2 say 'ama'...bsides tat...'cheng ee' tat u usually call me to do when its time 2 go 2 skool wil never happen...except 4 grandma replacing u to call me...I really wish tat all those things i've said can happen again...Now i finally knew...tat time is cruel....Goodbye Grandpa...
......Your loving grandson, Rui
......Your loving grandson, Rui
Friday, May 19, 2006
ALL OF YOU HAVE DONE YOUR BEST
Buddha says…. Death is inevitable.
Every life that is born is already on a journey to death
Upon each death, there will be a birth somewhere
This cycle of births and deaths will continue
Unless one gains enlightenment
To escape from this cycle.
So there is no need to grief about death because there will always be hope
For one to better one’s life in the subsequent rebirths.
If you all have helped him when he was able and well
You all have already done your best
Death is beyond all of our control
His time was due, you all have no control
No one can blame themselves for his death
We pray and wish that father will be reborn
In a better world, where he will continue
His cultivation towards ENLIGHTENMENT
Ah Bah, Ean and family.
Every life that is born is already on a journey to death
Upon each death, there will be a birth somewhere
This cycle of births and deaths will continue
Unless one gains enlightenment
To escape from this cycle.
So there is no need to grief about death because there will always be hope
For one to better one’s life in the subsequent rebirths.
If you all have helped him when he was able and well
You all have already done your best
Death is beyond all of our control
His time was due, you all have no control
No one can blame themselves for his death
We pray and wish that father will be reborn
In a better world, where he will continue
His cultivation towards ENLIGHTENMENT
Ah Bah, Ean and family.
We remembered his last breakfast outside
I used to take him and mother out for breakfast each weekend.
One weekend, I asked him where he wanted to go for breakfast and what he wanted to eat. He said he wanted to go to Da You Ping Restaurant because if he did not go and eat then, when else could he eat. He would have to wait for them to come and offer food after his death to be able to eat.
My children helped him into the car and made our way to Da You Ping for breakfast. Then we lifted him in a wheelchair to the pavement of the restaurant.
This occasion happened before he was hospitalized for the first time.
From Ah Bah, Ee Fen, Tze How, Ee Hui, Mother.
One weekend, I asked him where he wanted to go for breakfast and what he wanted to eat. He said he wanted to go to Da You Ping Restaurant because if he did not go and eat then, when else could he eat. He would have to wait for them to come and offer food after his death to be able to eat.
My children helped him into the car and made our way to Da You Ping for breakfast. Then we lifted him in a wheelchair to the pavement of the restaurant.
This occasion happened before he was hospitalized for the first time.
From Ah Bah, Ee Fen, Tze How, Ee Hui, Mother.
Father’s Analogy…..
One morning when I was eating breakfast with him, I asked him how he was. He told me it was difficult, probably due to his sickness and disabilities. I told him that all life is like that. Buddha also said life is suffering.Some days later also after breakfast, I pushed him in a wheelchair along the house garden’s path. We were talking about plants and life in general when he turned to me and told me this analogy……
He said, “Everyone must travel along this path. I want to travel to this particular path but they stopped me. I decided to go to another path but somehow I still come back to the same path. I roamed and roamed but I cannot escape from the first path”.
I told him to be patience or find another path. He told me he cannot do that because he felt very difficult and uneasy inside.
I could not understand him at that time. He continued further. He asked me “If two persons who are engaged to be married found out that they were actually biological siblings, should they still get married?” I told him I do not know the answer.
He insisted that they should get married.
To all of you. Think of what father said……..I think he already knew his death.
Ah Bah…memories of father.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
The father I knew…….
The father I knew…….
He had few words
But full of thoughts, meanings
He knew all our problems
He helped us find the solutions
He understood our feelings
Use your intelligence to create innovations
Practice diligence for achievements
I remembered him saying
No knowledge gained can be lost unless in death
Even in death, leave a legacy
My father did that, he died peacefully
Our love for Lim Cheng See is eternity.
May the Lord Buddha Bless You and Show You The Way.
Ean and Family.
He had few words
But full of thoughts, meanings
He knew all our problems
He helped us find the solutions
He understood our feelings
Use your intelligence to create innovations
Practice diligence for achievements
I remembered him saying
No knowledge gained can be lost unless in death
Even in death, leave a legacy
My father did that, he died peacefully
Our love for Lim Cheng See is eternity.
May the Lord Buddha Bless You and Show You The Way.
Ean and Family.
Dearest Father,
My heart aches when I go home and fail to see you there,
Sitting on your favourite chair either watching tv or just nodding away there,
I've always prayed this day may never come but seeing you weaker day by day,
I prepared myself mentally for the worst.
You never complained much but deep down I knew you suffered,
The way you slept, how you tossed and turned,
The way you walked, weaker week by week,
Was too much for me.
You tried so hard to hide your pain from us,
You didn't want to burden us,
You complained only once to me that you were in pain all over,
You said there was only one way,
I knew what you meant,
I knew you had started to give up hope.
Then on I prayed each night that God be kind to you,
"Please God, don't let my dad suffer! "
Still you put on a brave front,
Your patience and endurance is something that all of us should follow
We pray for you, father,
Our heart goes to you forever!!
WE LOVE YOU, DAD ...........
He is well, guys.......... I just know.---bhoon
Sitting on your favourite chair either watching tv or just nodding away there,
I've always prayed this day may never come but seeing you weaker day by day,
I prepared myself mentally for the worst.
You never complained much but deep down I knew you suffered,
The way you slept, how you tossed and turned,
The way you walked, weaker week by week,
Was too much for me.
You tried so hard to hide your pain from us,
You didn't want to burden us,
You complained only once to me that you were in pain all over,
You said there was only one way,
I knew what you meant,
I knew you had started to give up hope.
Then on I prayed each night that God be kind to you,
"Please God, don't let my dad suffer! "
Still you put on a brave front,
Your patience and endurance is something that all of us should follow
We pray for you, father,
Our heart goes to you forever!!
WE LOVE YOU, DAD ...........
He is well, guys.......... I just know.---bhoon
A song to dedicate to Ah Kong. I wanted to sing to Ah Kong
Who can say...for certain? Maybe you're still here
Feel you all around me, your memory's so dear
Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be that you are my foreover love, and you are
watching over me from above?
Chorus:
Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight to see you smile, if only to know that you're there
A breath away's not far to where you are
Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing all power can't be seen?
As my heart holds you just one beat away
Cherish all you gave me everyday....
Cause you are my foreover love
Watching me from above
And I believe that angels breathe and that love will live on and never leave
I know that you're there
A breath away's not far to where you are
Your loving grandson, Ryan
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Monday, May 15, 2006
Forgive me dad
Dear Dad - one of the last thing you said to me was that I was sometime "too clever". You are right - forgive me. I feel responsible for taking away the last few hours or days from you. I am so sorry. I could have stopped the physiotherapist from aspiration, especially when you seem to indicate so but did not. "Too clever" indeed I was for reading that the saturation was 100, so you would be OK. I shall always remember you turning blue in my hands - so sorry dad for not ensuring that you have the chance to see the others before you go. I love you so for you are the centre of our lives. Tears still flow whenever I think of you although we have been told to avoid it. I know that God will bless you and is taking good care of you, but I cannot help missing you. Last Friday, I woke up with a conviction that you had come to visit me in Singapore, to reassure us that you are fine and to advise that we keep the family closely knitted together as you have done. I will try to do so and be happy that you are with God, but it is so difficult to accept that you are gone. We love you so ... till eternity as Buat puts it. Love. Bee Imm
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Shed no tears...God bless Dad... He is fine
Dad.. though it pains to see you go, I want to let sis Chin know that it's time to let go as Dad is fine...
According to this site: UrbanDharma.org
"In the teaching of the Buddha, all of us will pass away eventually as a part in the natural process of birth, old-age and death and that we should always keep in mind the impermanence of life. The life that we all cherish and wish to hold on.
To Buddhism, however, death is not the end of life, it is merely the end of the body we inhabit in this life, but our spirit will still remain and seek out through the need of attachment, attachment to a new body and new life. Where they will be born is a result of the past and the accumulation of positive and negative action, and the resultant karma (cause and effect) is a result of ones past actions.This would lead to the person to be reborn in one of 6 realms which are; heaven, human beings, Asura, hungry ghost, animal and hell."
Father has been doing good all his life. I remember him as teaching all his children this value which I still hold. We must always do good to others although others may not return the goodness back to you. He has helped people in trouble and although he has lived through poverty, Dad has never complained. His spirit and determination remains strong.
In my heart, I know Dad is fine... like in my dream of a mansion facing the sea. I am sure he is reborn to somebody great...who continues to embrace knowledge. Dad may not be rich in worldly possessions but there is always wisdom in him which others look up to.
Your loving daughter, ANG
According to this site: UrbanDharma.org
"In the teaching of the Buddha, all of us will pass away eventually as a part in the natural process of birth, old-age and death and that we should always keep in mind the impermanence of life. The life that we all cherish and wish to hold on.
To Buddhism, however, death is not the end of life, it is merely the end of the body we inhabit in this life, but our spirit will still remain and seek out through the need of attachment, attachment to a new body and new life. Where they will be born is a result of the past and the accumulation of positive and negative action, and the resultant karma (cause and effect) is a result of ones past actions.This would lead to the person to be reborn in one of 6 realms which are; heaven, human beings, Asura, hungry ghost, animal and hell."
Father has been doing good all his life. I remember him as teaching all his children this value which I still hold. We must always do good to others although others may not return the goodness back to you. He has helped people in trouble and although he has lived through poverty, Dad has never complained. His spirit and determination remains strong.
In my heart, I know Dad is fine... like in my dream of a mansion facing the sea. I am sure he is reborn to somebody great...who continues to embrace knowledge. Dad may not be rich in worldly possessions but there is always wisdom in him which others look up to.
Your loving daughter, ANG
Forgive me father for the tears
Forgive me father for the tears that will always flow whenever I think of you. Ah Bah says we must not shed tears as you pass away, so as to ease your going to your next life. So you can leave this world without worry. Forgive me father but I cannot help it. You meant the world to me yet I never told you so. I write to keep you in my thoughts always. You mean so very much to me.
Father, I saw tears in your eyes, on your photograph in front of your coffin, every time I prayed. I know I cried every time I knelt down in front of you. I ask for your forgiveness for all I have not done for you. I could not bear to let you go. I also saw tears in all your photos I opened during the time your coffin was in the house. Perhaps you were trying to communicate with me. I know you cried because you had to go. You must have felt deeply sad leaving us. I should not have cried and caused you pain. I remember I ask you to forgive me and ask you not to worry. Please father, go to your next world, and go with god, peacefully and without worry. Let Lord Buddha guide you. You deserve all the happiness that god will give you. We all love you but want you to have peace in happiness in your next life.
Your loving daughter, Chin
Father, I saw tears in your eyes, on your photograph in front of your coffin, every time I prayed. I know I cried every time I knelt down in front of you. I ask for your forgiveness for all I have not done for you. I could not bear to let you go. I also saw tears in all your photos I opened during the time your coffin was in the house. Perhaps you were trying to communicate with me. I know you cried because you had to go. You must have felt deeply sad leaving us. I should not have cried and caused you pain. I remember I ask you to forgive me and ask you not to worry. Please father, go to your next world, and go with god, peacefully and without worry. Let Lord Buddha guide you. You deserve all the happiness that god will give you. We all love you but want you to have peace in happiness in your next life.
Your loving daughter, Chin
Friday, May 12, 2006
From the oral history told by Dad...
He told me about Great China University which he studied in Western Shanghai in the 1930s. I tracked the history and found that Great China University is also Daxia University.Today, the site of Great China University is occupied by East China Normal University(华东师范大学) which was founded in 1951. Today, the University is situated on the bank of the Liwa River in the northwest area of the city near the Zhongshan light rail station.
Daxia University was founded in the early 20th century. The campus architecture is preserved after 100 years of history up to and after Liberation in 1949.
Dad said....
"I remembered that there was a river beside the university. I was staying in the hostel on the 2nd floor. There were 2 beds in each room. At that time, we actually had squatting toilets. Every morning, students were expected to do their own beds. We studied Shakespeare at that time. There was no History, Geography or Mathematics"
Visit the site where Dad studiedEast China Normal University
Recorded by ANG
He told me about Great China University which he studied in Western Shanghai in the 1930s. I tracked the history and found that Great China University is also Daxia University.Today, the site of Great China University is occupied by East China Normal University(华东师范大学) which was founded in 1951. Today, the University is situated on the bank of the Liwa River in the northwest area of the city near the Zhongshan light rail station.
Daxia University was founded in the early 20th century. The campus architecture is preserved after 100 years of history up to and after Liberation in 1949.
Dad said....
"I remembered that there was a river beside the university. I was staying in the hostel on the 2nd floor. There were 2 beds in each room. At that time, we actually had squatting toilets. Every morning, students were expected to do their own beds. We studied Shakespeare at that time. There was no History, Geography or Mathematics"
Visit the site where Dad studiedEast China Normal University
Recorded by ANG
My dearest father
My heart aches whenever I think of you. Words cannot express how I feel. You were always there for me, silently advising me ever so often. Yet sometime I do not listen. Forgive me father for not always listening. Papa, please know that I love you so very much. It pains me to think that you are no longer here with me. I always thought you would be here forever, never for once thought that one day you would go away.
I know that you are no longer here physically, I do not know whether your spirits is around me, but I believe that my thinking of you will always guide me. Let the silent bond we have be forever. I love you till eternity.
Your loving daughter, Chin
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Papa... your 92nd birthday was just several months away....
It was celebrated with joy all the way....
Family and friends celebrate with you....
We were all so very happy for you.....
19th December is a special date to all of us...
Smile on your face and lots of kisses....
Year after year, our family gather....
Sharing the joy with you forever.....
Papa, eventhough you are not here today.....
We will always remember your birthday....
Your loving daughter, ANG
Monday, May 08, 2006
My Father
To our beloved father Lim Cheng See
Memories of my father still lingers in my mind….
My father has always been a hero of mine…
He set good examples that I can follow….
I value them today and continue to value them tomorrow…..
A man of few words in many ways….
Words that impact his children all the way…….
From China to Malaysia, his hardships he shares...
Something I really treasure and will bear.....
His words leave a deep impression…..
His guiding principles for the next generation……
With his demeanour, knowledge and generosity
He is man with a strong set of integrity…
A father, grandfather and great grandfather…
He will be missed by us all forever…..
Dad, we always love & remember you to eternity
God bless our beloved father
A poem by your loving daughter, ANG
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